{ONE YEAR AND BEYOND}
This weeks topic is:
Feeling Confident As A Mom
I think that confidence in an individual is unique. We all have different types of confidence and different degrees of confidence. And the same is said for confidence within mothers. Some feel confident in their love as a mom, or their ability to be a good mom, or to be a mom of more than one child or as a mom in a crowd/public or as a mom through the different ages.
This is my story on confidence...
I always thought I was born to be a mom.
From a very little age, I loved playing "mommy" to my dolls and I loved being around and holding babies. I was in my element when my Dad and Step-Mom had a baby girl (my half sister) when I was 15 and I got to play second-mommy. I au paired as a student and loved spending time with little kids of all ages - fetching and carrying them, taking them to afternoon activities, doing homework with them and having fun with them. Just before I moved to London, I spent 6 months looking after a one year old little girl who climbed into a space in my heart and we still spend time together - I looked after her for 6 months from 7am - 5pm every day and the odd evenings - and I loved it and felt confident doing so.
Fast forward a few years and I found myself pregnant with my very own child. Our first child. I was so happy and excited, and never really nervous. I had this. I was confident. And I couldn't wait to have this sweet babe in our lives.
From the second SJ was placed in my arms, I have felt confident.
Not always confident that I am the World's Best Mom but confident that I am doing my best.
I have always adopted the approach that this is my child and I am the only person (along with daddy) who is responsible for this child. No one is watching me or judging me or giving me a score out of 10 so I can do things my way, and find what works best for me and our babies. Every step of the way has been a learning curve - we try something new and if it works, we stick to it. If it doesn't work, we try something else until we find what does work.
Having confidence in everything that I do, I feel, has given me an advantage - our babies have felt our strengths and weaknesses and they respond accordingly. As babies, if we were tense or agitated, the girls would cry and fuss and not be calm or settled. But a calm and gentle and confident approach allowed for the girls to settle and be assured that all was in control. As a toddler, SJ knows when I am feeling confident and in control - and then she knows who is boss! But when I am vulnerable or let that guard down, she starts to play up and test the boundaries - because she thinks she has a chance to be boss!
Maintaining your confidence is so important - babies are so resilient and they are 100% helpless and reliant on you. Your way can almost never hurt or damage them so just do your best, and see what works for you both. Don't doubt yourself or your motherly instinct. This confidence has got me through sleepless nights, screaming tantrums, 40'C temperatures and medical emergencies.
And we have all survived, with a smile on our faces.
Are you a confident mom?
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I am not a very confident person in general, so despite knowing that being a Mom was the only thing I ever really wanted to do, I wasn't sure that I would be doing it the right way. I go through highs and lows with confidence in my parenting and like you said, they sense when we are feeling out of control.
ReplyDeleteI am petrified that my one day child will see that I am not confident! I have no idea what I am doing with children. I joke sometimes and say I need a child from age 4 - 12yrs. I've only ever held 3 babies and reading your "CV" here I am slightly freaked out now!
ReplyDeleteLove this post!
ReplyDeleteI have also grown up knowing I was meant to be a mom. We fostered a baby when I was around 10 and I instinctively knew what to do and how to handle her.I baby sat and au paired from age 12, worked at a summer camp with kids in the USA, and my "career goal" has always been to be a wife and mom. I met Zoe when she was 4 months old, and immediately clicked into mom mode. I have never ever doubted my instincts, or my ability to mother. I know it's what I was put on this earth to do, so yes, I guess you could say I'm pretty confident!
ReplyDelete