In The Darkness

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I recently read an incredible blog post on Making Mountains blog titled: Love, Lately. 

I've recently found Belinda's blog and I've been captivated by the beautiful and honest way she writes - I just keep reading... But this post struck a serious chord, and really pinched where it can hurt. Belinda writes about the love she has felt over the past few weeks whilst her husband has had surgery and who has been there for her and for him during this difficult time.

And it got me thinking...

Have you experienced dark moments in life where you felt like no one was there? No one to talk to, to cry out to, to walk the lonely road with? 

Have you experienced happy and joyful times in life where everyone seems to be there? They are there to enjoy the great occasions?

Belinda's post filled my head and my heart with so many emotions, and it has had me thinking about all the good and bad times, and the people that have walked the roads with me. it got me thinking about so many different friends and family members and where they were or weren't during these times. Some memories made me smile to think about but so many made me cry...

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Where were you when my drink got spiked?

Where were you when I was being emotionally abused?

Where were you for the endless months of my long distance relationship?

Where were you when my first car was stolen?

Where were you when my parent was diagnosed or institutionalised?

Where were you when my Grandpa passed away in my arms?

Where were you when that girl spread rumours and lies about me?

Where were you when I failed my first exam?

Where were you when I lay on the floor in weakness, from morning sickness during my first trimester?

Where were you when my child was the bully?

Where were you when I went into labour and theatre without MC?

Where were you when my baby girl was in NICU and I lay helplessly in a hospital bed?

Where were you during the tough times?

But then also think...

Where were you when I got my driver's licence?

Where were you when I passed Matric and both my degrees?

Where were you when I got my first job?

Where were you when I got engaged?

Where were you when I saw my groom for the very first time?

Where were you when I first found out I was pregnant?

Where were you when my daughters were born?

Where were you when I moved into my first newly built home?

Where were you when I completed my first run?

Where were you when they reached milestones?

Where were you for their birthdays and dedications?

Where were you for my birthday celebrations?

Where were you during the good times?

I am not perfect and looking back, I have missed many tough moments with special people in my life. But at least I know, I have always tried my best - either staying away because my family needed me or because I felt you needed the distance. I know deep down inside that I am not that family member or friend who only shows up during the good times... I feel I am always constant and consistent.

I feel that I always Love, no matter what.

x