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No, I am not pregnant. Yet.
But I am here to just spill the words and feelings into a blog post today...
When are you ready to have your first child?
And your second?
And your third?
These answers will be different for everyone and I try my best to answer them most days. I went through the newly married days of "When are you having a baby?" and my answer was always the same... "When we are ready". In our situation, MC was ready before me and we made the mutual decision and were blessed to be pregnant very soon afterwards. I had always said that I had a two year plan once we were married, but things changed and 18 months into our marriage, our little SJ was born and I wouldn't have it any other way.
And our second?
Well, that was also relatively easy because SJ was a confident, mature and very independent little girl. At just 18 months, we were confident that making her a big sister was a good idea and once again we were blessed to be pregnant. By the time, EN was born, SJ was already two - she had started and settled at a lovely school in the mornings, she was staring to potty train, she had given up her bottles and formula and she was sleeping in a big girl bed. She was also old enough to understand this new real-life doll and accept her and be loving towards her. They are now the best of friends.
But the third?
This is a tough one for me.
EN is a very different little girl - she is clingy and needy in the cutest way, she still has bottles, shows zero signs of being potty trained, hates her big girl bed most nights and does not like to share or be gentle. But there are also so many other factors, how do we fit another car seat into my car? Who juggles two kiddies if I struggle through terrible morning sickness again? Who lifts my precious girls when I cannot drive for six post-surgery? How do I cope with three littles when MC is out of town? How does my new business survive through "maternity" leave?
I have to be honest - I don't think there is ever a 'right' time or a perfect time. And we are truly blessed that we have two little miracles - and we remember this through so many infertility stories, through the possibility of our third time round not being so easy and through two previous miscarriages that could so easily happen again.
In saying that, we said that we would love to try and get pregnant this year and through our faith, we shall wait and see what Jesus has in store for us and our family.
How did you know you were ready for babies? Second, third or fourth?
x
Ah, this is so exciting! Will be praying for you and your gorgeous family, my friend. It's all in God's perfect timing. I can so relate to what you're saying here, though - Noah has always been a slightly more 'needy' child. He's three (four in January), and it's only in recent months that I feel confident that I'd be able to take on the enormous task of bringing another life into this world. That said, although I feel mentally and emotionally ready, I'm still trying to find that elusive work-life balance and can't even imagine how I'd be able to take maternity leave. Sadly not on the cards for us this year... but one day, I hope! Sending love and prayers! xxx
ReplyDeleteOh gosh my friend - were you reading my internal brain dumps or something, ha ha ha. Every single word you have jotted in your blog post, is everything I am currently experiencing and feeling. Keaton is also incredibly clingy and wanting of me whereas Cason keeps telling me he wants a sister. Knowing my luck, I will have another boy which I am totally fine with as I'm not particularly wanting a third for a gender appeal - however a girl would be amazing, but I too just can't decide whether I am physically strong enough to cope with three kiddies. Tough decision for sure. But our agreement that we actually came to on date night this past Friday, was that we will wait until August next year to which if the feels are still there - then it's go time. Good luck Lovely. Will be so excited for you when you announce you're pregnant. Big hugs, Kirst xx
ReplyDeleteThis is exciting!! I'm definitely not ready for a second. Not sure if I ever will be!
ReplyDeleteMy only comment would be that you always make it work. Things work out in the end!
Good luck and happy trying
Well we only have one child, and only had him for about 6 months as we are adopting him. We're not thinking of number 2 yet, but I can tell you that after always knowing we wanted to adopt and have a biological child (and not being fussy on the order of things), on 29 April last year I woke up and the first thought I had was "it's time for us to start the adoption process". When I told my husband, he said he felt ready for a while, and was just waiting for me. And here we are just over a year later, with a beautiful 14 month old running around. It's been my experience that you will just know that your family is ready to be expanded. All the best!! Megan x
ReplyDeleteSuch lovely thoughtful words. Will be praying for your family and for God's perfect timing!
ReplyDeleteSo many prayers coming your way. I completely understand your feelings and agree that there never may be a perfect time. Luke wasn't planned and that was the best way it could have happened.
ReplyDeleteMy Cals. I always believe that we are given what our hearts truly desire. You and MC are such wonderful parents to SJ and EN and I know that should you be blessed with another darling angel to join your life, everything will sort itself out. Don't stress the small things. I hope that your dreams of having another child come true as I cannot imagine someone more deserving than you to be blessed with another little angel.
ReplyDeleteLots of love
Sha x
I'm not quite married yet - but my boyfriend of 4 years (and best friend of 9) and I talk about what the future will look like after we are married. A big part of that discussion is when to have kids/how many! I think you are so wonderfully right; there is no "perfect" time or even a "perfect number" of kids. And there will always be obstacles that make you want to wait, whether before the first, second, or third etc child. I don't know yet ;) but I think that we will have a feeling when we are ready to begin having kiddos.
ReplyDeleteSo glad I stumbled onto your blog today! Excited to be following along :) xoxo
www.thegirlontheverge.com
oh Caley always tough to find these answers. Some things are just meant to be. You can question how you will cope but like you did from 1 to 2 you just do. And Ellie being "clingy and needy" won't change, but I promise you just do. Brody was that for me and all I did was cuddle him a little longer, said I loved you more, let him grow at his own pace and watched how he become the most protective and loving brother to his baby sister. 3 is tough, but so can 2/1 be, and as parents I don't think it matters the age gap between kids or the number of kids you are blessed with, you simply just do. And while doing that you love and cherish the blessings you were given. So go on, become a mom of 3, is special!! ��
ReplyDelete